Kangaroo Care, get in there Dads!

As National Kangaroo Care Week has come to an end, I wanted to share my experiences with kangaroo care and some advice for NICU dads. Kangaroo care is incredible! I remember when our nurses explained to us that when our baby was removed from the heated isolette and placed on my wife’s chest, skin to skin contact was going to regulate our baby’s body temperature, and it did! Our baby was hooked up to monitors and was having her temperature checked constantly, and here when she had that skin to skin contact, everything was perfect. All of her levels were stable and her temperature was just right. It was unbelievable. Kangaroo care would also help my wife to start producing breast milk. Having a baby at 27 weeks, her body seemed to think that she was still pregnant and not quite as ready as if we had gone full term. Kangaroo care seemed to tell her body that we have had a baby and needed to start producing breast milk to feed her. It was also great to see how special kangaroo care was for a mother to bond with her baby. My wife had waited so long to hold our daughter, and to see her finally get to hold her, it was magical.

As a dad in the NICU we learn to take a back seat to some things. I was the one that got to see our daughter when she was born.

My wife only got to see her as they transported her to a different hospital.

So when it was time for kangaroo care, I sat back and let Mommy bond with her baby. I hadn’t really thought about doing it myself. When my wife would do kangaroo care the nurses would mention that dads can do it also. I didn’t really know what I was missing. When it was finally my turn, I took full advantage. I’m not sure what other parents feel, but kangaroo care for me was like nothing else. As a NICU dad, I would do the daily shuffle of taking care of mom, our other daughter, household stuff, and also trying to run our business. I would walk in to the NICU carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders. When it was my turn, they would place this baby on my chest, and everything would just melt away!

Kangaroo care was everything for me.

You hear about NICU dads sometimes struggling to bond with their babies. It was an opportunity for me to bond with our daughter. I would hold her and whisper to her how proud we were of her, how strong she was, and how much we loved her and how we wished we could take her home. I would sing this special song to her that I used to sing to her mother, the song seemed to take a whole new meaning. As she got older and stronger she would touch my beard. It was soothing for the both of us. But most of all it just felt like we were growing our bond. Daddy’s little girl.

Kangaroo care was also therapeutic. We have all heard about the stresses that are carried by NICU dads, I was no different. I would come into the NICU exhausted from the physical and emotional roller coaster ride that is NICU life. I was also excited because I knew I was going to do kangaroo care with our baby. As soon as they placed her on my chest all that stress would go away. I would get this happy and calm feeling just spread through my body. I would lay back in the recliner and just enjoy this little piece of heaven. My wife would usually go and take a break and I would just lay there with our baby. I would be so relaxed. It was so relaxing that most of the time I would fall asleep.  The sleep and relaxation were one that I wasn’t getting anywhere else. When we were done I would have this feeling of euphoria. It would energize me. I would use this to get me through to the next day.

Get in there dads!

So NICU dads, my advice to you is to get in there! Wait your turn, and when the time comes, get in there! You and your baby both need it. Kangaroo care will help you bond with your baby. It will help you decompress from all of the daily woes that we deal with and carry during these troubling times in the NICU. Get that baby on your chest, you won’t regret it!