What about dads? Life after the NICU

A few months back I was asked by Bryana Salazar to be a part of a study she was doing. I jumped at the chance when I found out the study was exploring the needs of NICU fathers and their experiences after discharge. 32 NICU fathers participated in this study to help us learn more about the NICU experience and the transition home.

Please take a look at her study here: https://spark.adobe.com/page/wR523tLe542qn/#theme-5

Here is what she found.

Theme 1:

Dads and Healthcare Providers

Interacting with healthcare providers while your child is in the NICU and beyond can be intimidating.

Theme 2: Adjusting Expectations

For some fathers, the transition is difficult especially when adding other factors such as caring for a medically complex child or transitioning to fatherhood during a pandemic. The challenge of bringing your precious little one home may not look how you pictured and it is common to have fears revolving around your child.

Theme 3: Changes in Priorities

OT’s specialize in looking at routines and how people spend their day. When interviewing fathers many dads talked about splitting duties with mom and expressed empathy for their baby’s mother.

The NICU dad routine was generally:

• Wake up
• Work
• Relieve Mom
• Downtime with Mom
• Sleep
• REPEAT

Leaving little time for other occupations.

Please take a look at her study here: https://spark.adobe.com/page/wR523tLe542qn/#theme-5

Theme 4:

The Unexpected Toll of the NICU: Mental Health & Emotions

Moms are not the only ones who experience the emotional toll of the NICU. It is not uncommon for fathers to have a delayed onset of PTSD symptoms 4 months following a NICU experience (Shaw, 2009). Based on this study, it is not uncommon to feel as if no one truly understands what you’re going through and not wanting to burden others with your emotions.

The Unexpected Toll of the NICU: Strong Dads and Validation

Half of the survey participants encouraged fathers to take care of themselves. Many dads expressed changes in activities that they did before the birth of their child, however they didn’t mind that their time has become more family focused.

Theme 5:

Coping and Healing: Outlets for Emotions

The act of writing and journaling became a common outlet for dads. Journaling became therapeutic and cathartic for dads.

Coping and Healing: Social Media

There was the act of writing itself and then there was the community that writing experiences gave. Fathers who used social media as their medium for expressing their emotions found a community that helped them cope and feel supported; whether that be peers in a dad support group or people following their story through their blog.

I told Bryana that this is just the tip of the iceberg. It is great to see and hear conversations about NICU dads and NICU dad support. I don’t think we know exactly how big the toll of a NICU stay and all that comes with it takes on NICU dads. The effect it has on both our mental and physical health is more than I think anyone realizes. The discussions about the importance of NICU dad support while in the NICU are just beginning. I think many will be surprised when the conversation about NICU support AFTER the NICU finally has started. They will see what the incredible amount of stress has done to our physical, mental, and emotional states. It will be eye-opening.

Please take a look at her study here: https://spark.adobe.com/page/wR523tLe542qn/#theme-5